Part 8: The Light at the End of the Tunnel Might Be a Train

It had now been nearly a month since I had been unable to use my left hand or feel any sensations on the left side of my body. My chest and torso was still feeling constricted and I still couldn’t hear out of my left ear. My entire body continued to feel weak, heavy and numb. I had nearly zero energy and was dizzy most of the time. I was barely functioning.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take this. And so, after learning there could be a possible connection between my symptoms and several serious conditions, I decided it was time to see a neurologist. I was hesitant to get potentially dicked around by yet another doctor, but I could no longer hope that this was innocuous and I was fearful that there may be some merit to what I had read online. I hoped to God that there wasn’t, but the fact remained that I was getting worse, not better.

I contacted the neurologist that was recommended to me by my chiropractor. Luckily, her office was able to get me in right away as she had recently moved her practice here from Minnesota and was not yet backlogged with patients.

Nick came with me to the appointment and he held my hand as we sat in the waiting room. Given past history, we were both skeptical and apprehensive about our pending experience. Were we about to get blown off once again? Were we going to be graced with yet another doctor who had no idea what to do? Was I about to go all Russell-Crowe-in-a-hotel-lobby at the utterance of another ‘I don’t know’? We were about to find out.

Dr. M greeted us kindly and escorted us back to an exam room. I immediately felt a positive vibe from her and her gentle tone put me at ease. She listened attentively as I described everything I had been experiencing over the past year and a half, making notes and asking follow-up questions. She then performed an exam, testing my strength, coordination, vision and sensations. She continued to ask questions throughout this process, though she did even more listening.

She confirmed that I had significant weakness in my arms and legs, particularly the left, as well as loss of sensations throughout that side. She also noted poor coordination on the left side as well; when asked to close my eye and touch my fingers to my nose, my right finger landed spot on while my left finger ended up in my eye. This wasn’t really news to me, but it was extremely encouraging to finally get some confirmation and validation from a medical professional.

Then, with a slight wince in her expression and an apologetic tone, she told me that this was all very consistent with Multiple Sclerosis.

I was stunned. And I was stunned that I was stunned. Was I really not prepared to hear this? I suppose part of me was fairly convinced that I couldn’t trust medical information found online and that I was being over emotional and naive to believe any of it. And reading about it online was one thing…it was unconfirmed, uncorroborated; pure speculation. Still, the symptoms fit. And to have that substantiated by a neurologist was a bit of a burst to my bubble of denial.

Dr. M. went on to say that this was not a firm diagnosis and that there are several other conditions that can mimic Multiple Sclerosis; it was important that we run some tests to eliminate all other factors. An MRI was scheduled for the following week and she spent the remainder of the visit describing in detail what that procedure entailed.

As we were about to leave the office, she placed her hand on my shoulder and told me to try not to worry and assured me that we were going to get to the bottom of this. I appreciated this gesture. Obviously, I was going to worry my neurotic little brains out, but it was heartening to hear that she wasn’t going to give up on me or just send me on my way without any answers.

As Nick and I drove home, neither of us was sure what to think. We both agreed that even though this was fairly grim news, it was a positive visit. Dr. M. was kind and seemed to genuinely care. And this was real progress. Follow-up was happening; in-depth diagnostic testing was being done. We were moving ahead.

But where were we heading?