The Business End

Okay, people…let’s talk business.

And when I say business I mean, you know, “business”.

“Making a pit stop”.

“Answering nature’s call”.

“Filing some paperwork”.

Whatever you call it, the basic procedures for going to the bathroom is not something into which we typically pour much thought and effort. At least, not since we were old enough to take a certain pride in the activity. For those of us with MS, however, using the potty isn’t always cut-and-dry.

Because multiple sclerosis interrupts or slows the transmission of signals to and from the brain, the electrical impulses to the muscles that are involved in emptying your bowel and bladder can become disrupted, resulting in anything from mild constipation or urine leakage to losing control of the bladder and/or bowel altogether. This spells inconvenience, frustration, the swallowing of a fair bit of pride and a whole heap of embarrassment. In the four years since my diagnosis I’ve felt very fortunate to have avoided these awkward symptoms. That is, until now.

Over the past several months, I’ve noticed an increasing frequency in my need to visit the ladies room. I thought little of it at first, but as time has progressed I’ve found myself running to the potty what seems like every 5 seconds. I just have to ‘go’ all the time. This has caused some daily frustrations and inconveniences both at work and in my leisure activities (thanks for ruining the middle of Inception, bladder…you jerk.), not to mention a considerable loss of sleep due to all the nightly bathroom trips.

Now here’s the kicker…when I actually take my seat upon the throne, not much is happening. Kind of like a Joss Whedon series. He builds us up to this big crescendo…..and then the series gets canceled. My bladder is doing the same damn thing. This could mean two things. Either I really need to empty my bladder but am unable to do so, or I just feel like I need to when I really don’t.

Fun, huh?

Finally, I decided that I was done with the constant pee parade and so I had a frank little chat with my neurologist. She ordered a bladder scan, which is a test that measures urine output (in addition to the speed and consistency of the flow) and then determines how much urine, if any, remains in the bladder. Basically, I got to pee into a computer. Is it weird that I enjoyed that a little? It’s not often us ladies get the chance to aim at something. Just sayin’.

Anyway, the test did show a bit of hesitancy in getting started as well as some “stop and go” which my neurologist felt was most likely due to random bladder spasms and she referred me to a urologist for further consultation.

I just can’t describe the pleasure of discussing my bathroom visits in detail with so many strangers….my neuro, her nurse, her PA, the urologist and his PA….the fun never stops! I realize these folks are all professionals, but I was growing a bit weary of the constant 20 questions game about my wee. Not to mention having to divulge all the details about this to my husband. Yet more pride swallowed.

Bladder dysfunction is one of the most common symptoms of MS (it is estimated that 80% of people with MS will experience bladder issues at some point) and yet it is one of the symptoms that people with MS are least likely to talk about. I mean, let’s face it…..it’s one thing to say, “Boy, my feet are really tingling today” but most of us are less likely to dive into dialogue about our urinary issues. This can be very embarrassing for some folks and can often add to feelings of isolation. MS is a bitch, ya’ll. It finds ever more ways to shove our pride right down our gullets.

But I digress.

The urologist agreed that I was most likely experiencing MS related bladder spasms and prescribed a medication called Ditropan. Ditropan acts to relax the bladder, allowing it to hold more urine and relieve the constant sensation to “go”.

“Relax the bladder”. I like that phrase. My bladder is plum tired and it could sure use some “me” time. Yeah, that’s Ditropan….a cozy hammock and warm sunbeam in which your bladder can put its feet up and relax. Ahhhhhhh!

What I really appreciate about Ditropan is that I can take it as needed. Perfect. I don’t care to take any more medication than is absolutely necessary and I appreciate the freedom to decide how much is appropriate for me. For now, I am just taking this medication at night since that seems to be the time my bladder issues are most bothersome. And I am happy to report that it is helping.



And here they are, my magic blue pills. Aren’t they majestic? Inscribed with…..is that a ‘V’? Hmm. Kind of reminds me of some other special little blue pills.

Of course, their magic comes at a price, as do all medications; they make me feel fairly dizzy and nauseated from time to time. For now, however, I am willing to make the trade. And that’s what treatment is all about, compromising for the greater good.