Part 7 - Progress, Setbacks and Discoveries

After my decision to renounce modern medicine for a while, I sought treatment from an acupuncturist and a chiropractor. I was fairly green with chiropractic care and was completely new to acupuncture; I had no clue what to expect. At my very first visits with each practitioner, however, I was given something that the last four medical physicians had failed to provide: validation. Instead of doubt, I was met with concern and reassurance and they both conveyed a sincere desire to want to help me. For this, I was extremely grateful. I had no idea if either of them could solve my health mystery, or even make any kind of impact on my condition. I was simply relieved and encouraged that I was finally being treated like a human being. As far as I was concerned, that was a step in the right direction.

After reviewing all of my symptoms over the last year and a half, several theories were immediately suggested: a compressed cervical disc or a pinched nerve. Well this was certainly an improvement over the “It Just Happens” hypothesis, and so I spent the next two weeks receiving treatments from both practitioners.

Much to my intense disappointment, however, none of it was making any difference. In fact, I was getting worse. The numbness was somewhat less intense and I had regained a small amount of movement in my left hand, but it was still basically non-functional. And it now felt constantly cold; an aching, burning cold. To the touch of anyone else (and to my own right hand) it felt perfectly normal, but to me it felt like my left hand was submerged in a bucket of ice. I had also lost hearing in my left ear.

Upon learning these developments, my chiropractor decided that this wasn’t a simple case of a pinched nerve or compressed disc and he confessed his growing concern that this was something much more serious. He suggested I see a neurologist and gave me the name of someone that came highly suggested from some of his other patients.

I felt defeated. While I appreciated the care and the honesty with which I was treated by both my chiropractor and acupuncturist, I still didn’t have any answers. Still no one knew what was wrong with me and my condition, whatever that was, was worsening.

And a neurologist? Really? That brought to mind brain tumors and mad cow disease. What did my chiropractor suspect I could have that would warrant a neurologist? I wasn’t sure that I was quite ready for that, or if I was ready to give the medical community another opportunity to kick me while I was down. I did feel, however, that it was time for me to educate myself on my symptoms and start doing a bit of my own research.

Meanwhile, I was still working full time at my job as an optician. If I thought dressing myself and trying to do my hair with one hand was a challenge, it was nothing to trying to repair delicate eyewear and replace teeny tiny screws in glasses. Total nightmare. My co-workers expressed a great deal of concern and were as helpful and understanding as possible, but daily business flow and scheduling requirements made it nearly impossible for me to have help all of the time.

I went from keying 70 wpm to a one-handed hunt-and-peck, which seriously slowed my productivity. As I could no longer hear out of my left ear, I had to hold the phone between my right ear and my shoulder while trying to peck at the keyboard with my right hand. When it came to repairs, I devised an ingenious way of holding a pair of eyeglass frames steady by gently wedging it between the counter and my stomach and then using my left hand as just a dead weight to keep it from tipping over. I could then use my right hand to turn a screw. Ingenious, but difficult as hell. Adjusting a pair of frames was a different matter entirely, and there were a few times I had to embarrassingly ask patients to come back another time when someone more able was available. Working like this was beyond complicated and completely exhausting.

As if trying to work this way wasn’t demanding enough, the very act of getting to work was another task entirely. As someone who has always taken pride in her appearance and maintained a professional image at work, I was finding it extremely difficult to show up looking like I had just rolled out of bed. A look, mind you, that took me a good hour to achieve. It was simply impossible to do a pony tail with one hand (though that didn’t prevent me from attempting this every single morning) and, despite my best efforts, a frizzy mess was the best I could pull off. Button-up blouses were completely out of the question, so I resorted to some of my nicer t-shirts, hoping no one would notice they were t-shits underneath my lab coat. Makeup was reduced to the bare minimum, as I was learning just how much I used my left hand to apply eyeliner and mascara. Jewelry was also out of the question, as I had no means of fastening a necklace or even my watch. Thank God I had slip-on shoes I could wear to work.

I had no idea how much I used my left hand until I couldn’t.

Living like this was draining to the core. My days at work consumed every ounce of energy and motivation I possessed, and I spent my evenings at home on the couch or in bed with a heat pack on my freezing-but-not-really -freezing hand, my laptop and a billion questions racing through my mind. Where were the Doctor House’s of the world when you needed them? Sure, Dr. House would have to stop my heart a few times and unnecessarily saw open my skull, but after making an intern cry and some sharply delivered wit he (and those piercing blue eyes) would have me diagnosed in an hour (45 minutes without commercials). *sigh* If only.

Once again, my husband was an absolute gem. He stepped up and took complete responsibility for all the household chores, laundry and meal preparation. He was working full time, same as me, but he knew I just didn’t have it in me at the end of the day. It was difficult for me to sit idly while Nick did all the things that I felt I was supposed to be doing. But once again he did it without question and with love. My attempts to help were only met with protest. God bless that man.

Sleep was difficult to come by due to a combination of pain, discomfort and worry and I spent quite a few nights online looking up information on my symptoms. I found a lot of information on compressed spinal discs and pinched nerves, but not all of the symptoms fit and I had symptoms above and beyond the norm for those conditions. Strokes kept coming up in my searches, but it didn’t seem likely that I could be having strokes. Could it? No, I would know if they were strokes. Wouldn’t I? Then I remembered WebMd and their symptom checker. I had only used it in the past for minor things like coughs and fevers, but I thought perhaps it could be a simple way to get more information on other conditions.

I plugged in my two major symptoms first, the numbness on my left side and the paralysis, which resulted in a fairly large list. As I kept adding symptoms, the list narrowed and three possible conditions moved to the top of the list: Transient ischemic attack (a TIA or mini stroke), stroke and Multiple Sclerosis.